Sunday, October 11, 2009
I am sitting next to my new fiancé wondering what are lives will become. I'm not scared, because I know everything will be okay. I am just anticipating so many little things such as brushing my teeth next to her every night and morning.
We are very different from each other, but we work together so well. She likes to talk a lot and ask a lot of detailed questions while I am more simple and expect details to be emplied. She feels like she has to entertain everybody and I hide in the back of the room with a close friend for an intellectual conversation or to simply "shoot the shit".
Rachael's God is so big and he provides her so much comfort. She just "is". At this point in my life God's overwhelming size provides me with thousands of deep questions, though I don't doubt Him as much anymore. I'm learning to exist in his presence, and allow Rachael to re-teach me things I used to believe in.
My love and commitment has never been stronger than it has been the last few months. I do not believe in "the one". I don't believe that God has created me specifically for one person. I believe that Rachael and I work very well together. I did not ask her to be my wife because of some "calling", but because we know how to get through the muck and reach the other side stronger and as better people.
I don't know the details of our future. I am just going along for the ride. I am ready to embark on this journey and I desire to soak in every moment along the way.